If You Give A Bear Cocaine


On February 24, 2023, the American comedy horror thriller film of the year “Cocaine Bear” released in theaters. Directed by Elizabeth Banks and released as “Crazy Bear” in other countries, “Cocaine Bear” follows the story of a bear that ingested just about 75 grams of missing cocaine.

It is important to note that this movie is inspired by real events. I say inspired by rather than based on, because the real story of Cocaine Bear is much more tame. Cocaine Bear, the real bear, also goes by many names, such as “Pablo Escobear” and “Cokey the Bear”.

The premise of the movie is true; on Sept. 11, 1985, a bunch of cocaine was dropped from a plane in northern Tennessee. A bear, now known as Cocaine Bear, did also eat a lot of that cocaine.

Cocaine Bear was found dead three months later in Chattahoochee National Forest, Georgia. Its stomach was supposedly packed to the brim with cocaine, but likely died of overdose with 3-4 grams of cocaine in its bloodstream.

The bear’s story doesn’t end there, though. The chief medical examiner from the Georgia State Crime Lab didn’t want the bear to go to waste, so he had it taxidermied and sent to Chattahoochee River National Recreation Area. Cocaine Bear then disappeared and reappeared at a pawn shop, and then a mall in Kentucky where it rests to this day.

“Cocaine Bear” the movie takes many large creative liberties with this reality. For starters, Escobear never killed anyone; in fact, it likely promptly died after eating the amount of cocaine it did. The bear in “Cocaine Bear” also kills a lot of people, and she has two cubs that also get high on cocaine.

This movie isn’t for the faint of heart. It is extremely violent and needlessly gory. There’s a part of the movie where a character’s finger gets cut off, and it gets carried around for the rest of the film in someone’s back pocket. I don’t knock the film for its goriness, though. The absurdity of it is the entire point. A bear is on cocaine.

I did not know Ray Liotta had passed away until I was watching the end credits and it said, ‘In Loving Memory of Ray Liotta’. That was, I think, more upsetting than the content of the movie itself, because I genuinely had no idea.

I mention Ray Liotta’s passing because “Cocaine Bear” is simply an insane movie to be in for the last time. Especially for Liotta’s character, whose final moments are him getting his guts eaten out by two baby bears absolutely zoinked on cocaine.

If you can handle it, go see “Cocaine Bear”. It’s ridiculous and you absolutely have to turn your brain off to watch it, but honestly you deserve to turn your brain off and enjoy this stellar piece of media. And, if you’d like more, a mockbuster movie nomered “Attack of the Meth Gator” is supposed to release this summer.